Sunny Sunday morning. 27 degrees. Wind blowing. Cramped but compressed nonetheless! Home from church with a sick little guy. Haven't been for a run for days since we have been on our own and he has been sick. This morning Austin was home and for my sanity I needed to go exercise and so did our Pit!
Bundled up (it might have taken me at least 30 minutes to get all of my compression stuff and winter stuff on) Lindy and I headed out. I set my mind to go for a short walk/run since I just needed to get out. I have learned to leave my GPS at home, I don't count miles unless I am on a marked trail so today I assume it was about 2 miles. Boy was it cold, got some strength training in going against the wind!
It was wonderful, my leg still swelled up and hurt but it was better, I was able to run the entire way with the exception of about 1,000 pee stops for Lindy, one of which occured about 5 feet from the top of a huge hill that I had "sprinted" up! I know it wasn't any more than 2 miles but at this point I was just thrilled to get out and go. I thank the Lord for two legs that move and to just be alive!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Journeys
While I don't want to come across as constantly negative or down, I want this journey to be true, to tell the ups and the downs, and unfortunately my leg is going through a down time. I can't ignore the fact that I am so very thankful for my life, for my son's life, for a leg that works. I was not involved in some horrific car accident or cycling accident, I have not fought cancer, I have not lost a child after birth, the list goes on. So when I think of that I ask myself, do I have a right to be upset, to be frustrated? The answer, frustration is part of being human, it is something that we deal with but we have to learn to overcome. This is tough for me, this is the first injury that I have had that has taken time, a long time in my book, to begin to recover. The verdict is at least two years until it is healed enough to forget. To me, that is a long time.
In a world of social networking it is tough, it is hard not to want what others have as it is plastered all over every time one gets online. Runners World comes in the mail every month, and while I love looking at it, it makes me want what I don't have, what I used to have. Facebook is a constant, "ran 4 miles", so and so ran 15 miles, so and so ran this half marathon, and the list continues. While I am so very excited that others are running, trust me I longed for many people to share in the enjoyment of running that I had during the days that I ran, it is so hard not to want it so bad that it never leaves your thoughts. I have taken a brief time away from Facebook (for many reasons, not just running issues) and have considered ending my subscription to Runners World, but I am not ready yet.
Last night as I had a hard time going to sleep, thoughts raced through my head. Many times going back to my attempt to run on Saturday January 1, 2011. I don't think I made it 5 feet before my one left knee cap turned into about 5 knee caps from the swelling, my thigh was big enough to hide a small child, and my mind was ticked. So ticked, that I refused to stop, I kept going but my going was walking, not running. I was determined to go the distance that I set out to travel no matter how slow or how bad it hurt. I made it, but it was defeating, I didn't run, i couldn't run.
Many may wonder why I am trying so hard, why don't I just swim, why don't I do something else that does the same as running used to? Because I learned to love to run. I can't give it up. While it doesn't define me, it is part of me, a part of me that makes me feel so good when I go, so good when I am done. I want that back and I am not ready to give up yet.
In a world of social networking it is tough, it is hard not to want what others have as it is plastered all over every time one gets online. Runners World comes in the mail every month, and while I love looking at it, it makes me want what I don't have, what I used to have. Facebook is a constant, "ran 4 miles", so and so ran 15 miles, so and so ran this half marathon, and the list continues. While I am so very excited that others are running, trust me I longed for many people to share in the enjoyment of running that I had during the days that I ran, it is so hard not to want it so bad that it never leaves your thoughts. I have taken a brief time away from Facebook (for many reasons, not just running issues) and have considered ending my subscription to Runners World, but I am not ready yet.
Last night as I had a hard time going to sleep, thoughts raced through my head. Many times going back to my attempt to run on Saturday January 1, 2011. I don't think I made it 5 feet before my one left knee cap turned into about 5 knee caps from the swelling, my thigh was big enough to hide a small child, and my mind was ticked. So ticked, that I refused to stop, I kept going but my going was walking, not running. I was determined to go the distance that I set out to travel no matter how slow or how bad it hurt. I made it, but it was defeating, I didn't run, i couldn't run.
Many may wonder why I am trying so hard, why don't I just swim, why don't I do something else that does the same as running used to? Because I learned to love to run. I can't give it up. While it doesn't define me, it is part of me, a part of me that makes me feel so good when I go, so good when I am done. I want that back and I am not ready to give up yet.
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