Tuesday, December 28, 2010 I finally gave in and called the doctor. I was discharged from my vascular surgeon a few months ago, however, today I was terrified. A week and a half ago I went for an 8 mile run with my dad, it was wonderful, I almost had a feeling of normalcy. Although I was running 11 1/2 minute miles (much slower than my pre-pregnancy time), I had hope that I was on my way to running a half marathon in early January. Despite the pain in my leg, I was able to run 8 miles, able to finish. Running is painful now, it is hard, I never know what my leg will do, but I long to do it and I want to keep running.
The next weekend I decided to try for 9 miles, one more mile, it was fine last week so I thought nothing different this week. Mile 6 hit and I took my needed 1 minute walk break at the mile marker, and then it hit. My left leg went numb, I could feel the circulation try to start again, after minutes it made it to my knee but different from the other times it stopped there. It never seemed to make it beyond my knee cap. But I kept going, kept walking and running, hoping for recovery. Through my compression pants and my One Black Sock, I could see that my leg was twice the size of my right leg. After a few days I thought it had recovered but on Tuesday it felt different, it was causing my pants to feel tight on my left leg, it was falling asleep when I sat, it was going numb when I drove in the car. So.....reluctantly I called the doctor (I'm a tough it out kind of person, I don't like to give in to the need to get help) and then told me to come immediately.
Once at the doctor I got the amazing news that it was okay, my leg could stay (I laughed, but the doctor with all seriousness said that it was a legitimate concern. Trust me, I am thrilled that everything is okay but it is still a journey. He then said to keep running, to keep trying, to keep building up the miles as I can. BUT....I never know what I am going to get. He said that I could go out one day and be perfect and wonder why I can't feel that way every day. I could go out the next day and it could be horrbile, swell, and just not want to go. So this part of the journey is hard, each day I put on all of my compression stuff and my One Black Sock to go for a run, I do it unsure of what the run will bring. Will I go 5 feet and have to turn around and go home, or will I make it a mile or 9 miles.
I love running, I will continue plodding along in this journey, hoping that the doctors words that this will be better in 2 years (now 1 1/2 years) is right, hoping that soon I will be able to run with less pain. Through the pain I continue to run, it is my "me time" it is my quiet time, my time to set aside the other stresses of life and enjoy the peace and quiet of my time running, one foot after the other, one foot followed by one foot in One Black Sock.
